Not a Piece of Cake

Staff Writer
The Chronicle Express

When we decided to have another baby, we thought that it would be a piece of cake.

My daughter was the perfect baby. She was calm and laid back, she barely ever cried, and she was an amazing sleeper. 

She never demanded anything from us. She patiently waited for things. She was happy and she was just, perfect.

When we decided to have another baby, we thought that it would be a piece of cake. Oh, how foolish and naive we were!

Tyler was not a piece of cake. He was not calm or laid back. He cried and he barely slept. He had happy moments, but he was so far removed from the perfect baby his sister was that I questioned whether we had brought the right baby home from the hospital. He demanded everything, and patience was not his virtue.

He was happy in his swing, and spent many hours a day in it. It was where he took naps, it was where he interacted with us the most, and it was where he laughed. He never wanted to be laying down flat. He hated his crib and there were many times we put him in his car seat or bouncy seat and put that in his crib just so he would sleep in his room.

When he wanted his bottle, he wanted it immediately, and if it wasn’t there he screamed. When his swing stopped, he screamed. When he wanted to be picked up he screamed. When he woke up he screamed. Sometimes, he just screamed for no reason — like every day from 5:30 to 7 p.m. and there was nothing we could do to console him. NOTHING!

I think about those days and am amazed that I survived. I remember how hard it was, how unprepared I was, and how totally incompetent I felt.  I saw myself as a failure, a bad mother and constantly wondered what I was doing wrong. I didn’t know that it wasn’t me, that it wasn’t anything I could have prevented, and I didn’t know that it was not my fault.