Keep focusing on the good moments

Staff Writer
The Chronicle Express

We don’t document the good moments, we celebrate them…..but we don’t document them.  We don’t focus on the good moments as much as we should, because the bad moments get us results. The good moments get lost in the bad moments, and they shouldn’t.  So, I am going to share some of Tyler’s good moments.

I spend a lot of time with Tyler. There are many challenging moments, moments when he yells at me and calls me names, moments he gets so angry he lashes out at the first person to cross his path. Moments when he has become violent, and moments when I just want to throw my hands in the air and walk away. These are the moments that sometimes seem to take over our lives, the bad moments and the challenging moments. These are the moments that get documented, because sadly, the bad and challenging moments are the ones you can use to justify why your child should continue to receive services or why your child needs services.

We don’t document the good moments, we celebrate them…..but we don’t document them.  We don’t focus on the good moments as much as we should, because the bad moments get us results. The good moments get lost in the bad moments, and they shouldn’t.  So, I am going to share some of Tyler’s good moments.

This summer, Tyler went to two weddings. He sat through the ceremonies very quietly, and didn’t ask me once if it was time to leave.  He went to Camp Corey, and then he went to Camp Onseyawa where he spent almost 2 weeks away from us.  He had a birthday party, and didn’t need to find a quiet place alone. He learned how to swim without a life vest.  He went to several family parties, and he talked to people.  He was nice to his younger cousin Gillie, even played a board game with her! But the very best thing, he started giving me hugs again.

In between and around these BIG good moments, there are so many little ones.  Taking Ty to Walmart and not having him throw a fit when he can’t get something. Going to Petco and learning that he doesn’t like animals with “beady, red eyes cuz they’re kinda freaky.” Going to Friendly’s and sticking gummy bears on his nose.  Tyler singing to me, “You say you want a revolution” and then being surprised that I know it and am singing it with him.  Rubbing shampoo in his hands, making a circle with his finger, and then blowing bubbles (I never knew you could do that!). Going to play laser tag, learning to bowl, telling jokes, and letting everyone know that his face is a “money maker”- all these things are good moments.

All these good, happy, and funny moments make me realize just how hard he has worked since he was 3, how much he has overcome, and how truly proud I am to have this amazing child in my life.